Replacing The What Ifs....

First an update. I went to the doctor Wednesday. I got a great report I am allowed to increase my activity and it looks like the surgery consult is off the table. What a great God I serve; He is mighty to heal. I got my lab results back yesterday they were low which means we have to increase the blood thinners again and come back in 10 days. Overall things are improving, one day at a time. TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY! Now let me switch gears. I am just so excited about what the Lord is teaching me and wanted to share some of it. I love that His word brings a fresh word everyday. I find so much comfort and joy between the pages as it breathes life in me. Through my bible study I am learning a lot about things I dwell/meditate on. When it comes to what consumes my thoughts and heart number one would be my worries. When I say worries I mean the "what if's". "What if's" flood my day and take me captive over and over again. I find myself facing these daily, hourly and sometimes minutely such as: what if we cant pay our bills, what if I cant take my NCLEX for 2+ months, what if I can't get a job, and what if I never get better or what if it comes back? Let me tell you I can worry with the best of them. However, I found out that my "what if's" and worries had put me in a prison and like weeds they were choking the life out of me. In God's Word I found that He warns against dwelling on my worries, my "what if's", and every anxious thought. These things which I dwell on throughout my day were throwing me into a downward spiral of despair, just like Satan wanted. You see I allowed the evil one to control my mind, to encourage my "what ifs", and lost focus of Truth. Truth that replaces my "what if" with "what is". Truth that says He is Faithful and Provider. In Christ and Truth we find liberty. Instead of dwelling on my "what ifs" I am learning to place my thoughts in a new direction by dwelling on "what is" such as in Philippians 4:8. It tells me exactly what I should meditate on. It says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." I must replace my what if's with truth and this truth comes from His word. You know the Lord knows our hearts and hears our every thought. He knows when the "what ifs" flood our day. He says cast your cares upon Him because He loves you (1 Peter 5:7). This week I especially found comfort in this verse-
"When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul." Psalms 94:19
My "What is" is His truth, which He reveals in His word. They are things such as His timing is perfect, He never gives us more than we can handle, He knows our every need, and He is faithful. I am finding the more I learn and memorize scripture that when the "what if's" creep in I am able to repeat His promises("what is"). Take heart, don't let the "what if's" take control. Be encouraged no matter what you are going through He is by your side. "Behold, I with you ALWAYS" Matthew 28:20. The video below is of Tenth Avenue North: By Your Side. Listen to the words and be refreshed in His love for you.

To God be the Glory and Praise...

Psalm 34:8: O taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who trusts in Him"
So I have been meaning to write this post the past few days. God has been so good. Let me start with some great news. Last Friday I had blood work drawn to check my bleeding time based on my blood thinner. The previous results have been erratic. Although I had to wait till Tuesday my results came back in normal range!! Hallelujah! As is if this is not good enough news I am finally able to move around better and with little or no pain. As far as the pain, God has been so great, I am pretty much pain free and only taking one pain pill a day if that. This is a major improvement from a pill every four hours. I just want to thank everyone again for all the prayers and encouragement. I am so happy to finally be making progress though the journey is not over. I go back to the doctor next week to see how I am progressing and to check my blood work again. I am asking for your continued prayers that the blood work maintains normal and I continue to heal. Throughout all of this God has shown Himself to be faithful as He declares in His word. I am also thankful for this trial. I have learned so much about faith and to trust in Him even when the outcome unseen. I just praise Him for all He has done, to Him be all the glory. I am attaching a video to this post, which is a first for me. First of all if you know me you know I love to sing His praises and sing praise to Him. One of my favorite songs is "Lord, Your Holy". I first heard this song a few years ago at the church I attended back home in Albany, GA. A very talented worshiper, Renee Jewel, sang it. It made a huge impression on me. The lyrics were so powerful and moving. It is a song that expresses so much praise, adoration and thanks to a such a Holy Lord. I love especially how it declares the characteristics of God. Here are a few of those lyrics from the song.
"Wonderful, Glorious, Holy, Righteous,Victorious, Conqueror, Triumphant and
Mighty, Healer, Deliverer, Shield and Defense, Strong Tower and My Best Friend, Omnipotent, Omnipresent,Soon Coming King, Alpha, Omega, Lord of everything, holy, holy, holy is Your Name."
What an Awesome God!!! The version of the song below is sung by The Prestonwood Choir. They are simply wonderful,the Lord has gifted them with many talented worshipers. Enjoy it and praise Him in your trials. He is a great and mighty God, be encouraged!

Trusting Him...

I just wanted to update you guys on what is going on so you can pray more specifically for us. I went to the doctor yesterday for my blood work. The doctor was very concerned because my blood levels on coumadin are still erratic and not at the desired level. Also, this is week three and I have made little improvement, I can hardly walk. So yesterday afternoon they called and want Bob and I to think about a Vascular Surgery Consult. They do not know if another clot has formed but they are concerned about the lack of blood flow going to my leg as well as the slowness of the healing process. Another thing is that the pain is the major issue for me but the medicines do not work effectively because it is a blood flow issue. They now believe the type of pain medicines I am on are affecting my blood levels and slowing my liver so they are giving me a new prescription for something different. Ends up today the FDA announced that they want to pull the two pain medicines I was on. So now I am on Ultram for pain which seems to be working well. Last night the pain was awful, as I could not take any pain medicine, and I didn't get much sleep, sadly neither did my poor husband. Bob and I are praying about what to do next and we ask that you join us in this. I truly do not desire to have surgery but I want to do what is best for my health. It is very difficult financially to make this decision especially since I am without health insurance. I know that the Lord is in control and will provide but this is a very difficult time for us. Yesterday was our one month anniversary and I must say this was not how I thought our marriage would begin but we are taking on this storm head on. We are trusting in Him to guide us, for He is faithful and takes care of our every need. We truly are learning to live out our vows and a marriage of three with God as our center. The devil is attacking from every angle and it seems discouragement is around every corner. However, I choose to lean on Him even when I want to give up. The prayers, cards, and calls have been such and encouragement, thank you so much. I will trust in Him, the great physician, to heal me of the clot. I was listening to Kari Jobe in my iTunes this morning for some encouragement and the song Healer stuck out to me. Below you will find the lyrics. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we trust in Him to guide our steps.

Be encouraged as I was:

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You

(Kari Jobe: Healer)

Sweet Reunion

Yesterday we had company over for the first time since we have moved into our apartment. It was so nice and I had anticipated this night all week. The honored guests were none other then our great friends, who are also newlyweds, Josh and Jessica. To prepare Friday night Bob cleaned the entire apartment, I really felt bad that I could not get up and help him but he did a great job. Josh and Jess arrived about 6:30 and Bob was still on his way home he had to run an errand after work. I truly enjoyed reuniting with such great friends that I call family.The boys then treated us girls to a night of no work in the kitchen, not that I could be much help. Jess brought over some homemade bread that was FANTASTIC! Now I definitely want to use a gift card to get a bread maker when I get well. Bob made a barb-a-Que glaze and baked chicken wings, as well as cooked green beans and baked potatoes. Josh made mac-n-cheese and dipping sauce for the bread. The meal was wonderful and so was the company. To top off a great evening we had cookies and creme pie...yummy! What a wonderful evening and I look forward to many more! Well update on me the pain still is not gone which stinks. I was prescribed a new pain medicine so hopefully it helps. The swelling has gone down some. So little by little I am improving. This has been very hard for me but the Lord is going to bring me through. I am again so lucky to have such a wonderful husband! He has been taking wonderful care of me and done things above and beyond what is needed. He has such a precious heart that God will use and I can not wait to see where or how. Nana is also doing ok she is at home recovering and hopeful will feel much better as the week progresses.